Learn To Grow
While we all want to live in a kinder and more empathetic world, WE as individuals have to personally decide to BE THE CHANGE. These simple little tools have made such a big difference in our lives, and we want to share them with as many people as possible.
Think about your personal life and the important people in it. Are you stuck in negative patterns with family members, coworkers, partners, or friends? While we cannot really change others, we have the power to change ourselves and how we communicate with them. Be the change and watch how the world around you radiates the positivity.
3 Important steps to help you achieve an Evolving Voice:
They are simple but not easy. Read and reread them thoroughly. Each time, you may see it slightly differently depending on the situation.
Try them on someone you already know. Maybe someone you see frequently but have communication difficulties, like a family member or co-worker. Start a journal where you practice a step and then note what reactions you received. They take practice and may not always work the first time but don’t give up but you will be surprised at how they can change your life.. Keep these 3 basic concepts in your mental toolbox everywhere you go. Remind yourself daily of at least 1 tool you will focus on for that day.
1.) Level Up
LEVEL UP – Train Your Lizard Brain
It is not always easy to use an Evolving Voice all the time. A basic understanding of how your brain works in certain situations can help clarify why sometimes it is hard to Speak with Love.
During the early days of humans, our brain prioritized the amygdala, what we also call the Lizard Brain. When it thinks we are in a life threatening situation, it automatically prepares you to FIGHT or FLIGHT to survive. Our hearts beat faster and we are pumped up with adrenaline and cortisol. But nowadays even if we are not in a life threatening situation, the Lizard Brain can still be easily stimulated. When we say someone “pushes my buttons,” we are talking about our Lizard Brain in action.
Leveling up means realizing when it is not a life or death situation and deciding not to automatically let your Lizard Brain put you in fight/flight mode. Move your thoughts to the higher level of your brain, the Neocortex with allows creativity, problem solving, and understanding.
“Tell your Lizard Brain to shut up”–Seth Godin
2.) Live Curious
Expand Your Worldview
As humans, we have a lot in common. We all have basic needs of safety, understanding, love, and respect. But we also seek out the familiar and often surround ourselves with people that like or believe in the same things we do. This can make it harder to interact or engage with people you don’t agree with.
When this happens, identify that the person you are communicating with has the same basic needs as you. Dive into the adventure of really getting to know someone else and why they think or act a certain way. You don’t have to agree with them completely. You only want to understand why they feel the way they do. Ask questions and dig deeper. If you are not judgmental, others will likely be open to sharing more with you. You may even see how everyone’s actions are always to fill a universal need and you can usually find some similarities and situations where you agree.
“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect”–Samuel Johnson
3.) Listen to Learn
Real listening should not be judgemental
Do you ever catch yourself thinking of what you are going to say next instead of actually really listening to the other person? To Evolve Your Voice, it’s helpful to listen more than you speak. Listen to Learn rather than to respond.
Give the other person your complete attention. Make eye contact and don’t interrupt them. If you are truly curious, this step will be easier. You should listen to the words and the feeling behind them. If the person is telling a story, imagine seeing the story unfold. Real listening should not be judgmental. You are learning something.
You should be able to summarize everything the other person said once they are finished. Actually repeating to them what you heard to confirm you heard correctly sharpens this tool.
“We have 2 ears and 1 mouth, we should listen twice as much as we speak”–Anonymous
To explore more or go deeper…
Everyone is different and learns in their own unique way, so we are sharing tools we found from other people & companies we admire.
We have curated some of our favorite – Podcasts, websites, & articles below
A digital toolkit to help empower hard conversations about race and privilege
An interactive guide for understanding White Privilege.
Guidelines and Resources for Anti-Racism.
A Teaching Tolerance guide for discussing race and racism
Help ground and animate a gathering of friends or strangers in a conversation.
Jay Shetty asks and answers questions on how to love well even during a quarantine.
A story-sharing & listening guidebook for virtual gatherings.
Support positive growth such as free will, self-efficacy, and self-actualization.
Bestselling author and entrepreneur Seth Godin targets our “lizard brain” to help us overcome it.
A guide for hosting productive civil, conversational dinners.
A guide for having kinder conversations about hard topics.
Meet Shaolin Master Shi Heng Yi in his serene talk about self-discovery. Learn what is essential to bloom.
Identify the roles you play in conversations for efficiency.
Something happens. Someone says or does something. Or, forgets to…
Applying nonviolent principles to Triggering Conversations.
Transform self regrets without judgment.
How to Increase the Peace in Our Relationships: A Webinar with Homaira Kabir